Owning your wants isn’t just admitting you want something. It’s being genuinely okay with having it.
“When you own your want, you have to own the fact that it’s okay for you to have it. And most people, a lot of what they want, they’re actually not okay to have.”
The Two Layers
- Admitting the want — “I want to be a billionaire”
- Being okay with having it — “It’s perfectly fine for me to have a billion dollars”
Most people can do the first but not the second. They want things they don’t feel allowed to have.
Why It Matters
If you can genuinely say “I have no problem, no shame, no embarrassment about wanting this”—Joe would bet on you achieving it over someone who can’t own the desire.
“If you have a war with your wanting, it really makes it harder to achieve the thing that you want.”
The Identity Piece
Some people are so identified with chasing what they want that actually having it would require too big an identity shift. They’ve become the person who wants but doesn’t have.
The want becomes the identity, and having would destroy that identity.
Related Concepts
- Wanting is aliveness
- Being at war with your wants creates self-sabotage
- The expansiveness of I Am
- Depersonalizing money creates financial freedom
- You only get the love you can let in
- Seeking power is always an expression of fear