The game-changer isn’t eliminating the need for approval—it’s redirecting it. Instead of asking “Do they approve of that?” ask “Do I approve of that? Does that make me feel good? Is this how I want to be?”
“If you really take a minute and you say hey I’m just going to chase my own approval, it’s a whole different game.”
This is a fundamentally different orientation. External approval is unstable—different people want different things, and you’ll twist yourself into knots trying to satisfy them all. Internal approval is a stable reference point. It doesn’t mean you ignore feedback—it means your primary compass is your own integrity.
A life organized around your own approval feels empowered, grounded, and capable. A life organized around others’ approval feels anxious, shapeless, and dependent.
Related Concepts
- Seeking approval pushes people away
- Being yourself designs your life
- Owning wants means being okay with having them