Joe’s framework for listening from a place of genuine care: VIEW.
V - Vulnerable
Allow yourself to feel their reality. Be in their world with them. Ask questions that might be scary but reveal truth.
I - Impartial
Don’t try to get them anywhere—not even to like you. Just be with them and understand them. The only thing you’re interested in is: Am I being who I want to be with this person? Am I being authentic?
E - Empathetic
Be with them emotionally, not in them. Feel what they’re feeling, but don’t get lost in their story or buy into everything.
“I see that that’s upsetting to you” is different from “Yeah, he’s totally wrong and you’re right.”
Being with, not being in.
W - Wonder
Deeply curious, but not needing an answer.
“Wonder is curiosity without needing an answer. You’re just kind of in awe.”
How is their world? How are they looking at things? A sense of “check this out” about another human being.
What People Actually Want
“We want somebody who cares about me. They don’t want anything from me. They’re interested in me. They’re asking me questions. They’re empathetically with me. And they’re being vulnerable.”