There’s a crucial difference between meeting people where they are and leaving yourself to be where they are. The first is empathy with a center. The second is codependence.
“You can hold space for people but you have to stay in yourself and you have to stay centered in your knowing, your truth, your wants.”
When you lose your center to hold space for someone else, you’re not actually holding space—you’re merging. And merging means there’s no stable ground for either person. The other person needs you to be you so they can orient. If you become them, everyone is lost.
This applies to leadership, parenting, therapy, and every relationship. The most helpful presence is one that remains itself while fully receiving the other.
Related Concepts
- Chameleon leadership creates uncertainty
- Unfelt emotions drive you into others’ opinions
- Being yourself designs your life
- Empathy is being with someone, not in someone
- Being together in emotions is different from caretaking them