Jaime’s high EQ meant she could read people instantly—sense their needs, their moods, their unspoken concerns. Combined with a drive to make everyone okay, this became a superpower that drained her dry.
“When you’re high EQ and you’re working on trying to make everybody okay it’s just very emotionally exhausting. So I had just nothing left in my cup.”
High EQ without boundaries means you’re constantly absorbing and responding to everyone’s emotional state. You become an emotional service provider running 24/7 with no capacity limits. The skill that should create connection instead creates caretaking.
The fix isn’t less empathy—it’s empathy with a boundary. Feel what others feel, but don’t take responsibility for fixing it. Read the room, but stay in your own chair.
Related Concepts
- Owning your needs isn’t selfish
- Holding space requires staying in yourself
- Codependence comes from not owning wants