Joe identifies three signals that an emotion isn’t being felt: looping thoughts, indecision, and judgment of others. Judgment is particularly revealing because the specific judgment maps directly to the avoided emotion.
If you judge someone for being angry, you don’t want to feel out of control or the potential of losing them. If you judge someone for being uptight, you don’t want to feel controlled or rigid. Every judgment is a suppression mechanism — and it ruins decision-making because you can’t see data clearly through preconceived notions.
This is distinct from discernment, which is simply knowing a distinction without emotional charge. Judgment carries charge because it’s defending against something.
Related Concepts
- What triggers you in others exists in you
- Self-judgment defends against emotions
- Judgment blocks the emotion underneath
- Judgment repels the connection you actually want
- Welcoming judgment creates freedom rather than fear