Working on yourself in a relationship is valuable for your own growth—you’ll be better in the next relationship. But a relationship itself cannot improve unless both people want it to improve.
“You can’t change another human being that way—they have to want it.”
If your partner doesn’t want to work on the relationship, that is the conversation to have. Not “how do I fix this alone?” but “do we both want this to be better?” If the answer is no from one side, you face a clear choice: stay in a relationship that won’t improve, or leave.
Joe suggests asking before marriage: “Are you both willing to work and change yourselves and the relationship so that it gets better and better?” Without that agreement upfront, the chances of success aren’t great.