Dodging a feeling makes you feel less empowered; going directly into it creates groundedness and empowerment. Joe demonstrates this live—after just a couple minutes of sitting directly with the feeling of lack of safety, the person’s sense of empowerment visibly shifts.
“The more you dodge it, the less safe you feel, and the more that you’re with it somehow or another, there’s also a lack of safety, but there’s a groundedness.”
“One of the ways empowerment comes to us is to actually face the things that we don’t want to. It’s how we build trust in ourselves.”
The avoidance of an emotion ironically creates more of that emotion. Not looking at the bank account increases the fear of money. Not feeling the unsafety increases the unsafety. Going into the feeling—without trying to fix it—paradoxically creates the safety and empowerment that the avoidance was trying to manufacture.
Related Concepts
- Embrace intensity for transformation
- Fear limits optionality
- Joy won’t enter where her children aren’t welcome
- Going through helplessness is what creates empowerment
- Intensifying a feeling moves you through it rather than trapping you
- Appreciation and connection dissolve unsafety
- Fully allowing the victim experience naturally creates empowerment
- The feeling being avoided underneath ‘I’ve got this’ is helplessness