Joe describes a recurring conversation: someone says they’re about to quit their job or leave a relationship. He asks what’s wrong, they explain, and he suggests — since you’ve already decided to leave — why not just show up as yourself and see what happens?
Eighty percent of the time, they get promoted, get raises, or their relationship transforms. The other twenty percent do get fired or broken up with — and none of them regret it. They realize: “This is how I want to be. That means this is the kind of company I want to work for.”
The fear that prevents people from being themselves is almost always a projection — their model of how the world works, not how it actually works. The consequence, whatever it is, is a direct path to being accepted and loved for who you are.
This applies directly to boundaries: the fear of drawing a boundary is the fear of finding out whether you can be yourself and still be accepted. But either outcome is freedom.
Related Concepts
- Being yourself designs your life
- Regret comes from not being yourself
- Can’t be seen if not being yourself
- Boundary firmness eliminates fear of attack
- What’s scariest about boundaries is the freedom on the other side