Convincing yourself you’re a victim means believing that if you are who you want to be and do what you want to do, the world will punish and reject you. This belief originates from childhood — parents who punished or rejected the child’s authentic self. The adult then projects that parental response onto the entire world.
The devastating consequence is that victimhood tells you “I don’t have the power to be myself — somebody else is in control.” This destroys self-esteem and blocks happiness at its root. Joe points out the absurdity: if an ISIS member can find a community that rewards them, and an artist can find one that rewards them, surely you can find a community that rewards you for being yourself. But you’ll never find it while operating from victimhood, because you’re not looking — you’ve already decided the search is futile.
“If you feel like you’re a victim what you’re basically telling yourself is that I don’t have the power to be myself. There’s somebody else in control and that just devastates you, devastates your self-esteem and it takes away your happiness.”
Related Concepts
- Being yourself gets you promoted or freed
- Can’t be seen if not being yourself
- Allowing the victim creates empowerment