When the woman in the coaching session finally lets compliments in, she starts shaking and crying. This isn’t weakness—it’s the emotion she’s been avoiding her entire life. Receiving requires opening to the very feelings that drove the overachieving in the first place.
“You’re trying to stop yourself from crying… Let yourself feel it. This is what you want. This is what you wanted as a kid.”
“Just say thank you” is the right advice but misses the depth of what’s being asked. Saying thank you while actually letting the appreciation land in your body—that’s the work. The body has to learn that receiving is safe, and that learning often comes with tears, shaking, and the grief of all the years spent deflecting.
Related Concepts
- We deflect the very thing we crave most
- When love shows up, unloved parts surface
- Pleasure signals safety
- Receiving compliments somatically dissolves the feeling of unworthiness
- The expansiveness underneath resistance to love is overwhelming and amazing