When someone asked Joe how to get better at listening, his answer wasn’t “practice with other people.” It was: listen to yourself with unconditional acceptance for 1-2 minutes a day. Put a reminder on your phone.
The logic is simple: the stance you bring to listening shapes everything. If you can’t listen to your own thoughts and feelings without judgment, you won’t be able to hold that space for anyone else. But if you practice unconditional acceptance with yourself, that quality naturally extends outward.
“The best way is to listen to yourself with unconditional acceptance, 1 minute a day, 2 minutes a day. Just listen… and it’s amazing how you react, but it also makes you really good at listening to others.”
One of Joe’s clients transformed their relationship and their business simply by starting to listen with unconditional acceptance — first to their partner, then realizing their employees didn’t feel listened to either. As people talked about their problems, they found their own solutions.
Related Concepts
- How we listen shapes what we hear
- Love yourself how you wanted to be loved
- Listening with unconditional acceptance transforms relationships
- Listen as if the other person is right
- Deep listening requires listening to yourself simultaneously