Esme, Joe’s 17-year-old daughter, names the shadow side of being raised with emotional fluidity: “It is sometimes a little bit lonely to not feel like I’m being met on the same level of connection that I want to meet people with.” She shares stories of being bullied for attending a silent retreat at nine, pulling away from meditation because it made her too different, and stepping back from mediating school conflicts because it separated her from classmates.
Joe acknowledges the cost directly — he and his wife chose to raise their kids differently from society knowing it would create challenges. The tradeoff: Esme is self-possessed, confident, has high standards for relationships, and navigates emotions with rare fluidity. But the world doesn’t always have people who can meet her at that depth.
“That’s the thing that’s a little hard on my heart — there’s not a community of people who are raised like you.”
This is why Joe builds community through his work — partly to create environments where the full depth of love and connection can be expressed and received.
Related Concepts
- Deep community dissolves identity
- Community amplifies transformation
- We build communities to create spaces where love can be fully expressed
- Kids need to feel liked by their parents, not just loved
- Connection is the core need in parenting, not obedience
- Feeling and expressing emotion restores connection
- Your relationship with yourself shapes your relationship with your children
- Parenting is the deepest ego work you can do