Summary
Joe Hudson converses with Tristan de Montebello, co-founder of Ultra Speaking, about the parallels between authentic speaking and personal transformation. Tristan describes how people become blocked speakers — an early negative experience with public speaking triggers avoidance, which builds into masks and personas across different environments, until they’ve lost touch with who they are. The “naturals” aren’t people with innate talent but those who loved the adrenaline of their first experience and kept seeking more.
They explore the paradox of wanting to be both ordinary (fitting in) and extraordinary (standing out), and how this creates internal friction. The key to great speaking — and to life — is getting into a state where the conscious mind stops interfering and the subconscious can do what it already knows how to do. This requires embodied practice, not reading books; short reps in a supportive environment; and training for state rather than content.
The conversation deepens into listening, pausing, and receiving as the neglected half of communication. Joe argues that how you listen determines what you hear and how people feel around you. They discuss the experience of “the butler” — the subconscious always having the answer ready, waiting for you to slow down enough to see it. Both agree this connects to faith (as a verb, “faithing”) — trusting that what’s needed will arise. They explore how ego attachment to insight leads to obligation and resentment, while recognizing you’re channeling something that’s been discovered countless times is deeply freeing. The work isn’t invention — it’s archaeology.
Key Concepts
- One emotional experience can close an entire channel of life
- Wanting to fit in and be extraordinary creates friction
- Flow in speaking requires forgetting you’re speaking
- Confidence comes from embodied reps not intellectual understanding
- The subconscious always has the answer on a platter
- Listening and receiving are the neglected half of communication
- Faith as active trusting not passive belief
- Transformation work is unearthing what already exists
Key Quotes
“Speaking is about state. It’s about tapping into forgetting about the fact that you’re speaking. You should be discovering the words as they appear out of your mouth at the same time your audience is.”
“Your subconscious always has the answer right there for you on a platter. It’s your personal butler and they’re right there. But most of the time you just can’t see it. And you just have to relax, take a breath out, slow everything down, and suddenly the butler’s there.”
“In ancient Greek, faith used to be a verb. You were faithing. So if you think about when you’re speaking this way, you’re just faithing.”
“We’re just unearthing the truth, sharing it, packaging and sharing it in a way that can be understood in our current zeitgeist. But really we’re not inventing anything.”
“It didn’t change my life — it changed generations. Every generation after me will be changed by the transformation that I experienced.”
“People are far more concerned with the format of their PowerPoint presentation than ‘how am I going to listen when I go into this meeting?‘”
Transcript
I think speaking is about State it’s about tapping into forgetting about the fact that you’re speaking you should be discovering the words as they appear out of your mouth at the same time your audience is your subconscious and your whole body is just doing the action that it knows how to do so well the moment you start thinking about it and trying to hit a framework or trying to get the words right you’re out of the flow thanks for having me Joe yeah very stoked to be here because we have a lot of a lot of students on our end that come from the art of accomplishment and I know that a lot of people from Ultra speaking love the art of accomplishment so I’m eager to to dig in and see where we have common ground uh what what didn’t you say I mean yeah a lot of things uh well I’m I’ve dedicated the last seven years of my life to studying communication and I think where you and I have a lot in common is that the in the way we approach this which is thinking of everything that’s happening on the outside a lot of what you can see are just symptoms and what’s interesting to me is figuring out what the root is and if I can solve the root then the symptoms solve themselves and so the pursuit of communication training or at least a a modern pursuit to me is one of finding yourself and learning how to be more of yourself in all kinds of environments where you tend to be guarded or hiding or avoiding and that’s what’s been driving me for the past seven years and I can’t see myself getting bored of this yeah yeah bored of this would be weird yeah for sure okay so if you could sum up the root of it if you could sum up generally what makes it that people have a hard time being themselves in different situations what what what would you say that is and how do you address it I think I think a large part of it is just inherent to us as humans I find that really fascinating because so from an evolutionary standpoint if you stand up in front of your tribe and you say something dumb or you say something that nobody agrees with you’re going to get pushed out if you get pushed out that means death isolation and that’s the worst thing that could happen to a human so I think from an evolutionary standpoint we want to fit in and at the same and so when we go through school we have so many moments exactly like this where our teacher has a stand up in front of the class and we have to speak and what I’ve noticed is you kind of have two roads you have the naturals and then everybody else people think the naturals are people who just they know they it’s It comes naturally to them what I think a natural is is somebody who walked up on that stage and they may not have done any better than anybody else but for some reason they loved the experience they loved the adrenaline of it they enjoyed the nerves and the nervousness and all of the prickly things that were happening they loved how alert they were in the moment and so when they walk down they think they think to themselves whoa I want more of that and so they start looking for more opportunities to speak and that turns them into the naturals because they’re just they’ve been training all their life basically to just thrive in that kind of an environment the people I see most of the time are people who followed a very different route where they walk up on the stage and for whatever reason either it’s something very real they felt actually humiliated or just extremely anous and they hated the feeling leading up to it the feeling of it and from that moment on they start avoiding and so I’m going to avoid even if it’s small things I’m going to say no over and over and over to all these opportunities where I could test myself and as a desire to fit in I start trying to avoid situations where things would go wrong and I start putting filters up in front of me let me make sure that what I have in my mind is going to land before I actually say it so I’m going to filter it and I’m also building up these masks and I’m starting to become a different person in different environments when I’m at work I’m this person when I’m with my family I’m this person when I’m with this group of friends I’m this person and that just overloads your system to a point where you have lost touch with who you are it’s almost like you’re trapped in a lie and everything you say from that moment on has to go through the filter of does this fit the Persona that I am right now and so a lot of so I think that’s why so many people struggle at the root of it yeah one of the things you’re saying is one of the things that I find Most Fascinating about Humanity in general is we have both a desire to be normal to fit in right which is not extraordinary and then we have the desire to be extraordinary right like everybody’s like oh I want to be rich that’s extraordinary that’s like you know less than 1% I want to be really I want to be a billionaire it’s like 0.1% I want to be famous 0.1% like we have all these desires to be extraordinary smartest best and yet at the same time we want to fit in and and it’s very rare that any human being that I’ve ever met actually looks at them and goes I mean the ones who have been extremely successful they seem to grocket because they realize that they stand out but anybody who’s striving for that extraordinariness never puts it together that that would make them stand out it would make them exactly not ordinary and and not fit in which is a totally fascinating thing and I see these two movements in people all the time create like a fierce amount of uh friction in their system and and a whole bunch of action that is not completely aligned and so they want to go somewhere but they don’t ever get there because they have these two competing wants so yeah it’s just a totally fascinating part of it for me yeah same I see so many of these kind of dichotomies of these polarities that are always alive and even the idea that speaking is natural it’s something that we do all the time yet if I try to speak I’m I’ve already failed cuz now I’m trying this idea that like I need to be I need to speak in a certain way if I want to do it well so I’m I’m trying to be something completely different when I already inherently know exactly what to do and I just need to learn how to trust that and build up confidence that I can do it without having to think about it yeah that’s a it’s an so the whether you call it a flow state or or whatever you want to call it there’s this place where you stop thinking about stuff and you and you can just like move uh without that thought process and like any musician knows it because if you if you’ve ever played music have you have you ever played yeah yeah so you’re playing music and then you start thinking too much and music goes to shit then you start thinking more it goes even worse and it’s like it’s all about getting lost in it and same if you’re surfing same if you’re speaking I notice uh I used to I was not a natural when it came to speaking at all I didn’t like it and wasn’t something that was native to me and I had this experience that totally shifted all of that for me and then all of a sudden I I dug it which is the the other thing that you’re saying which totally fascinates me about Humanity as well is you have an emotional experience that you don’t like like like you just spoke about in speaking and then you hit avoidance and then like there’s this whole channel of your life that’s just shut down like speaking is this one example this can be addiction this can be I’m not going to date anymore I’m not going to you know I’m not going to go after the woman because I had this one emotional experience and these whole parts of your life are shut down because you didn’t like the emotional experience and it could have just as easily been oh I like the emotional experience and then that whole part of your life opens up which completely fascinates me like oh I tried to attract a woman I tried to hit on a woman a woman rejected me and I was like oh that was kind of fun like you’ll be you’ll you’ll you’ll be dating lots of women if you if that’s what you want you get that first rejection you’re like oh I’m horrible I never want to experience that again you’re like playing video games and whacking off to porn for like the rest of your life right it’s crazy how that works so very similar yeah how do you how do you how do you help folks learn to love it like how do you help folks who who speak naturally all the time but then when the stakes are high they hate it how do you teach them how to love it I think what what’s important is that you this can’t happen just in your head you can’t read 50 books sitting down by yourself and then say oh I get it and walk out and think that you’re going to be confident cuz the confidence is when I’m walking into this situation that’s super scary to me that the the very situation I’ve been avoiding you have to be able to say no no no I got this it’s going to go okay I’m gonna I’m actually I’m going to do well even but you need to believe that your subconscious has to trust you has to trust those words and your subconscious knows without a doubt whether or not that’s true so if you say I got this because I read a bunch of books your subconscious is going to say you read a bunch of books but we’ve never tested this out this is probably going to fail and it’s probably right so the most important ingredient is you can’t get better at this without doing the thing you don’t get better at speaking without speaking so you need to figure out an environment that replicates what you’re trying the environment you’re trying to thrive in as closely as possible so you find other people that you can be around with with with whom you can practice speaking and the way you practice is as important as the environment as well so number one you have the environment I’m going to spend time actually doing the thing the second piece is you need to be practicing for the right State and I really think you talked about flow I think speaking is about State it’s about tapping into forgetting about the fact that you’re speaking you should be audience is because you’re so in tune with the concept that you’re trying to convey with the person that’s in front of you or with the emotion that you’re holding on to that your subconscious and your whole body is just doing the action that it knows how to do so well the moment you start thinking about it and trying to hit a framework or trying to get the words right you’re out of the flow so when you train you need to train in ways where you when you finish your rep which should be short you look back and you almost wake up and sometimes you it’s so much of an Awakening at the end that you don’t even remember the details of what you shared that’s because you did the right thing and you were completely inflow so you do that short reps you get feedback from your community which will usually be supportive and maybe they point something out that you weren’t aware of but often times they’re going to say wow that was so impactful and you’re going to think that just felt so random and boring and simple and normal to me no no no no that was the best speech I’ve ever seen from you and so that’s you you start thinking you get one rep oh I can do this and then you just layer them up over and over and over and eventually when you go out into that environment where you say hey I got this and your subconscious comes up and checks they say yeah we’ve done a 100 reps in a similar environment and it worked out and we kept getting good feedback so yeah we probably do got it yeah yeah that makes it makes sense the the thing that I know about your work because of what people have told me is that like your classes are incredibly fun that people get in and it’s like it’s like our stuff it’s it’s not a normal classroom it’s you know you’re just doing lots of experiments and you’re getting it in your body and you’re learning stuff for you all it’s speaking publicly for us it’s like dealing with conflict or how to connect and but it’s all about getting it into your body and I remember that the way you talk about it I remember this time um where I was a venture capitalist and I had been giving this presentation and I was at a a conference and they lost the presentation and I had to speak for 20 minutes on this thing man and and it was it was I remember it being scary I also remember like oh I don’t have a choice and I had like the outline in my head kind of because I had written it and I knew what I was going to say and I was just like okay let’s let’s do this let’s get up and do it and it was in front of like a couple hundred people and after that experience I was like that was that moment I was talking about earli in the podcast I it was done I was just I will never prepare for a speech again it was so much better than anything i had ever done up until that point it was it was amazing and God it would have been a lot nicer if I had had some Reps for sure yeah the way the way we talk about that is is most people learn think about the speaking as something very linear it goes from A to Z and it’s a bunch of chain links together so you’re memorizing word after word or step after step and if you think about it that way then any chain link that breaks and you’re and it’s gone and there’s nothing Beyond and you’re lost and now you’re it’s full panic mode what you had to do was come back to the very very essence of what it is you were going to talk about like what’s the one thing I want to convey and then what were those bookmarks along the way that I knew I need to hit but then you have total freedom since you didn’t know literally you didn’t prepare for it so you didn’t have all the details down to a te so you were now you had access to a tree with tons of branches where it doesn’t matter if you snap one branch off you still have a beautiful tree so now you’re just navigating this beautiful three-dimensional thing that’s your mind and you can access and you might even oh you tell me did you access anything in the presentation that you hadn’t prepared for that kind of popped out of course yeah I mean that’s the best thing about doing podcasts and about all the content I make is because I do it extemporaneously that I do it that way that I’m discovering stuff all the time while I’m talking right oh that I put those two things together right and I’ve seen it over here and it happens and it’s I mean that’s I don’t think I would be interested in producing as much content as I do if I wasn’t learning and I think everybody’s experienced that when they’re writing a paper and you write the paper and you’re learning something while you’re writing the paper it’s the same experience it’s lovely oh it’s like it’s like life right yeah if you knew everything that was going to happen before it happened it would be insanely boring there’s a life is inherently an improvisation and I don’t think there’s there’s almost nothing in life that’s worth not making an improvisation it’s just life is much more interesting and there’s much more you can get otherwise you’re just set in a in a direction and you watch your life go by yeah yeah there there was something else you said back which explains something to me that I I know the phenomenon because everybody says things like oh you said that thing in the podcast and I was like really and then I hear it I’m like yeah that sounds like something I would say or that sound smart and and I’m and I but I don’t remember much when I’m actually in that state I remember very little I’ll remember stories of other people I’ll remember it’s the same you’ve seen me do the rapid fire coaching I’ll remember them as a person in their like how they present themselves and the trauma that’s in them but I have a hard time remembering words when I’m doing any of that work because it’s I I’ve never known why but it’s nice to hear that like this is something that happens for a lot of people when they’re speaking this way or when they’re coming from that place it’s one of the most common things I hear in the beginning of ultr speaking training is I asked them how did it go and they said I have no idea I genuinely just don’t know what happened cuz that also heightened if there’s if you have adrenaline in the moment so if your if your senses are heightened you’re you’re even more hyperfocused and so there’s just there’s no point for memory in a state like that yeah yeah it’s the same I I’ll walk out of like we did the rapid fire coaching at your at your class and I have no idea I walk out of I’m like I have no idea how it goes I just like I I’m just I I know it felt good or it didn’t feel good to me and that’s all I know I have no idea often times I’m like ah and then 20 people will be like that was the best thing ever I’m like you know just no idea about it yeah such a crazy I feel very similarly in coaching fact I I host a hot seat coaching every week where anybody can show up and anybody raises their hand and I coach them in front of everybody else and then we have a discussion that’s in your once when someone signs up for your class that’s part of it every week no it’s actually it’s free it’s every week that’s cool yeah yeah it’s one of my I started doing it because I was so focused on the business at one point that I realized oh no I’m not coaching enough and I hate that I’m not coaching anymore so I thought how do I how do I get back into it and that was something that I felt oh I could give back and it was very scary at first to jump back into it with the hardest possibly one of the hardest ways of doing it with an with an actual audience watching you as the founder that was kind of scary but it has now become my favorite absolute favorite moment of the week every single time but one thing is super frustrating is that in those moments it’s probably the moment when I have the best insights I ever have all week related to speaking and there’s I’m coaching I’m in it and somebody asks a question and I’ll just for some reason everything lines up perfectly and I can give a two-minute monologue that I think to myself I’m like wow even I’m thinking man you that was just that’s exactly what you have been trying to figure out for these past three months and I can say it perfectly and then when it’s over I’m like that needs to be a video or something I need to get it out because it was so well said and there’s no way to re access that state in afterwards I’m like ah it’s it’s gone where is it I it’s like cat trying to catch a dream so I have to find way please I have a solution for that um record your own camera on quick time yeah nice so you’re not recording the other people so that they all have that and then anything you have you can actually cut and paste oh nice yeah I’m in yeah yeah totally because it is I totally know that thing where you’re just you’re saying the thing and you know it’s the right thing and you’ve discovered the thing and it’s and you’re never going to say it like that again that’s where writers have it have it nice right they they get to whenever they get something a good it’s like oh there we go got it then it’s there yeah exactly it’s there I have a I have a question for you related to yeah what causes the thing that we’re them trying to um what like unlearn or or or trying to to to unblock for the person we’re working with yeah in the early days we used to try and figure out exactly what the inciting incident was like the very very early days of Michael and I so Michael’s my co-founder we built this together and we would for the first three years we did 100% of our coaching together as a partner coach which was probably one of the best things we’ve ever done because we we learned twice as fast or three times as fast as a result because we could debrief we would watch the other learn from the other it was magnificent in fact we do that in our coach training now after we have them coach one by one then they partner coach but that’s not the point of this we used to we used to go incredibly deep sometimes spending 2 hours just trying to figure out what why did this happen and then once finally once we got it we’re like oh now I know exactly what created it then we would start the coaching and we try to figure things out and I forget why but all I know is one day I realized oh we don’t do that part anymore at all in fact it almost doesn’t matter because what I’ve noticed is like they’re just it’s the same pattern over and over and I don’t need to to know the exact why in order to unblock and I’m curious if in your coaching in your practice it’s similar different or am I missing something yeah it’s a great question I I don’t oftentimes I don’t really need to know the backstory of the person um and sometimes it’s really critical to know the backstory of the person so it’s kind of a hit or miss on I I just recently I I’ve been working with this person for many years because I have long-term clients and I was working with them and some insight about their mom showed up that totally unraveled like three patterns in their life and it was amazing and it would not have happened if the the mom incident and the mom thing hadn’t like unraveled right and and so but we had never spoken about his mom before that moment and lots of other stuff had unraveled so it’s kind of a it’s a strange thing what I notice is that nowadays what I’ll do is I’ll if I’m have a long-term client I’ll spend the first hour with them just hearing their backstory because it helps me put some patterns together but if you see my experience is if I see the pattern so for instance um I see like a man comes to me and they’re uh and they’re womanizing I don’t need to hear their story very much to know there’s a 90% chance they had emot unavailable mom like I just I can tell you that like right and so so similarly if I see somebody like with their chin up and they’re armored like I can tell you that they don’t have good access to their emotion which means probably there’s a bit of a narcissistic parent involved that term used lightly so like there’s just a lot of things that where I can just see it so I can work without it however sometimes it’s really important for them so typically it’s when it’s important for them to see oh this click click click and they can have a mental click that allows the emotional stuff to move but yeah if you understand the patterns it’s usually not so necessary to make progress but sometimes it is yeah yeah very similar very very similar I think like for the 8020 I don’t need it anymore or it’s just but every once in a while as you were saying that there were examples popping into my mind of oh yeah pointing that out or them bringing it up why like pausing is a big a big big chunk of what we do it’s yeah ridiculously simple and incredibly hard to do to you literally I’m saying I’m going to put a timer on this is your space now you’re going to hold that you’re going to be in this space and anytime during this timer as you’re speaking I just want you to stop and do nothing just take a pause ideally breathe but I don’t care just pause and most people genuinely cannot yeah and that often stems from a lot of a lot of past baggage of I’m not worth it I don’t feel like I have my seat in the at the table this space should probably be used by somebody else who’s more worthy than me or has more interesting things than me to say or if I pause I’m going to look stupid or it’s going to look like I’m blanking and I’m deathly afraid of blanking there’s so many reasons but it’s it’s fascinating yeah yeah there’s yeah it’s an what’s fasc yeah what’s fascinating to me about it is that there’s a um in general there’s a receiving a listening and allowing that people don’t ever think about how they do that they always think about how they do do the thing right so meaning I am how am I going to say what am I going to say what when am I going to say it what’s the like it’s that’s what does the presentation look like is the graphics all right is the it’s all about the things they’re going to do like they you know I coach Executives and they’re like I’m going to go raise money and and they’re going to tell me all the things they’re going to do to raise the money and I’ll ask like so what are you going to allow to raise the money what are you going to listen to to raise the money what are you going to that that whole aspect it’s not just in the in speaking it’s in like so much of life is lost because people aren’t doing the pause the receiving the allowing part of it and and the best example I have of this is like so if we teach if we’re teaching somebody coaching we have some like off um we have like a very long process if anybody wants to like coach with us and or just wants to learn about coaching and the first year of it half of it is just about listening it’s just about how you listen because there’s so much that your reality is so um based on what how you how you listen if I listen to you one way I’m going to get X information if I listen to you another way I’m going to get y information if I listen to you one way you’re going to feel closer to me if I listen to you another way you’re going feel removed arranged angry at me are more likely to feel that way that’s true with investors that’s true with customers that’s true with and so how you listen is like such an important part which is all a pause right like that whole thing how you listen is a pause and people are far more concerned with the with the format of their PowerPoint presentation than oh how am I going to listen when I go into this meeting it’s an amazing thing so it’s a it’s a it seems like they’re very parallel those two very very I think you’re also showing up you have to show up more trusting if you’re going to listen because you’re trusting that when it’s my turn I’ll be okay I think that’s one of the big reasons people don’t listen is because they’re thinking what should I say next what will I say when it’s my turn right and if I if and communicating interacting in life is so much about kind of it’s a it’s about flow so it’s about subconscious your subconscious not your conscious mind as much your subconscious is much more powerful has many more answers and if you put take the whole being in place what pausing slowing down listening does it just allows you to see more hear more so you it’s it’s very counterintuitive and I think that’s why people struggle with the the pausing so much which is very related to the listening is that you want to do something no no no I need I need to perform very well I need to get something really really I need to say the right thing okay yeah so if I need to say the right thing I need to I need to tense my brain and like get the right thing out but the reality is the exact opposite it’s no no no you have to stop everything so much so that the essence of what you want is going to come up for you I have this visual in my mind that your subconscious always has the answer right there for you on a platter it’s your personal Butler and they’re right there but most of the time you just can’t see it and you just have to relax yeah take a breath out slow everything down and suddenly the butler’s there and then the butler’s there in fact I have a little story from uh partner coaching with Michael in the early days when I was still really I had a lot to learn and we were coaching and I I forget why exactly but what I remember is Michael I remember noting oh Michael’s really on a roll right now and so I’m the client’s in front of us Michael’s like locked in with her and they’re going back and forth and I’m watching and usually I was in a position where I felt I need to add value so I need to jump in and also when I when something pops into my mind I need to say it and in this moment very similar to what you’re describing for your coaches I decided I’m not going to say anything because it was more he’s on a rooll I don’t want to interrupt but the but I was very calm and I was very present and the butler came up and I had a really cool Insight on what was happening and I thought oh my I was like oh I really want to share this this is so good but I didn’t and so that kind of faded in the background and I just waited and I watched and I listened more and then something else came up that was even more pointed and even more profound and even more true because now I knew more the situation and that little cycle happened maybe a dozen times over the course of 25 minutes where I didn’t say a single word and I was just in awe as I watched and it was like a a whole food artif a whole ah I don’t even have the word in English but it was like a an explosion in my mind of ideas and everyone felt more and more precise more and more delicious and then when by the end when it was my turn to speak I was able to ask just one question like five or six words boom that was just exactly what was needed and all of the rest I realized was Superfluous and didn’t need to be said right yeah yeah yeah I love that feeling I when when you realize that you’re in a room with like let’s say I’m in a room with like 30 students and I’ll have that those moments many times and then what happens often is that somebody else will say the thing I’m thinking I’ll have the thought process then somebody else will say it and then I have the thought process and somebody else will say it and so now when I’m in a room often unless I’m asked a direct question if I’m facilitating like a group conversation I won’t say it until it’s like five minutes has passed because I’m sure somebody else will say it and what’s fascinating about that for me is like a lot of times when people come to the work I’ll say you’re you’re here because of me but what you’re going to find out is that you’re really here for each other that the like you’re going to learn more from each other you’re going to learn more from people sharing their stories you’re going to learn more from the lessons that they’ve just learned and and that’s why it’s because that wisdom it’s it’s it’s like the butler’s there but it’s there for everybody almost which is really fascinating to me it’s like the butler comes up and is like this needs to be said oh you’re not going to say it will you say it will you say it it’s this very fascinating thing that happens and it’s such a pleasure to watch that how non-personal it can be it’s like it’s not even your butler you know what I mean it’s it feels far more like a channeling when I you know it was funny because you said something about trust which is a word that we can use nowadays that’s everybody can get into but I actually like the word faith more not faith in oh I like Faith so much more yes yeah of course because it’s and even if you think about I was told in ancient Greek I think it was ancient Greek that Faith used to be a verb you were faithing like it was like it was some like I’m walking I’m faithing so if you think about like when you’re speaking this way you’re just faithing you’re just faing that the butler is going to and it’s not faith in like some external thing it’s just like faith that it’s all there for you and I and there so for me that’s what I really like and and I love it when there’s like it you can see it in a group that the whole group has the butler yeah yeah yeah we talked a little bit about it last time we we had a discussion where we talked about this idea of what we were uncovering the both of us in our in our practices whether it’s art of accomplishment or Ultra speaking how it feels like we’re just unearthing something that already exists like an archaeologist and that we’re just unearthing the truth sharing it packaging and sharing it in a way that can be understood in our current Zeitgeist but really it’s a we’re not inventing anything I’m just bringing this stuff back up and yeah presenting it to people so that they could take advantage of it so I love that idea of this idea that the yeah the butler is there for everyone everything you’ve discovered and encountered is discoverable and encounter by anybody else just as mine is yeah yeah I love that feel I had this moment the other day seems related I’m not sure if it will be so maybe we’ll cut it out of the podcast but I was having a conversation with people who had been through our Master Class from like year one 2 and three so I had three year I wanted to just I wanted to talk to them about like what happened and how is it now after years and years and years and years and somebody had said one of the people said you know it wasn’t what it didn’t change my life it changed Generations every generation after me will be changed by the transformation that I experienced and which I had felt for myself but I had never felt for the people that I I was working with like I never really like it was it hit me in a big way at that moment and and in that recognition there was also the recognition that like that wasn’t actually my work like it wasn’t me doing that it was like the 20 people who had a huge influence and taught me and it was the 20 people and some of them 2,000 years old and the people who taught them and the people who taught them and it’s like it’s such this interesting thing it feels so good in my system when I see the like you said like you’re uncovering stuff that’s been uncovered a hundred times before that you like that the butler’s for everybody that that there’s a faithing that’s been going on for you know for eons 200,000 years people have been pausing and seeing what comes out of their mouth exactly you know what I mean yeah and then like the thousands of years prior the Millennia prior to there’s probably somebody who invented a better version of ultr speaking that I that Michael and I have been able to create so far and I’m just still catching up this would look ridiculous you know somebody’s like just got it yeah except nobody would understand it because it’s an ancient Aramaic and and it doesn’t and it doesn’t reference AI once so it would be it would be out it wouldn’t work yeah that’s it’s so interesting and I think it’s also very easy or at least you can see how easy it would be to be caught in your ego if you find something very exciting like you find the Nugget of gold you’re like I’m a great gold digger right I’m good at finding gold but you were just incredibly lucky and I think there you’re lucky from you know you grew up a certain way you met a few people you had all kinds of circumstances and you probably showed up a lot of times in a way that created this for you but I’ve found that the act of pulling my self out of the Limelight more yeah especially when it comes to the to the the act of coaching and the the essence of what it is we do yeah to actually be incredibly freeing because it’s because you’re you’re always kind of pulled in you always want to you know look at anybody who’s who’s any early stage entrepreneur it’s almost like you have no choice but to pump up your chest and say what I’m doing is so important and so amazing and I’m changing lives and you can you can get caught into that so easily yeah but there’s something very freeing of let letting that go and saying wait wait yeah I’m but I think when I see the people who have done it the other way where they get oh it’s me then with that oh it’s me there’s a responsibility that becomes an obligation that turns into a resentment but they can’t leave it cuz the girlfriend’s too sexy it’s like making them lots of money and everybody’s looking at them and and then it leads to like some crazy Addiction typically and like need for control so so to me in my mind having worked with people where that has happened where it was them it was all about them and eventually I’ve just seen where that that that lands in a like a very terrible place and so for me when I think about it it’s it’s either I can acknowledge that that it’s not me it’s never been me it’s like I’m channeling something or I can be you know with some terrible habits trying to get the away from this feeling of I’m responsible for everything and I’m alone in it so like those seem to to be eventually those seems to be the options when the pressure gets too big and I I feel like to some degree that’s like a macro of the thing you’re teaching in in Ultra speaking right so it’s like if you come in thinking you’re responsible thinking it’s about you thinking about it’s about your reputation thinking about like it’s your wisdom you’re going to give a shitty speech if you can walk in and you can be like more in faith more in trust more waiting for the butler knowing that it’s about the butler it’s not about you then the speech goes well it feels like that’s like a life thing it’s not just a speaking thing yeah and it’s the that’s why this Pursuit is so liberating and why the most common feedback we get and I’m sure you get a similar version of this but for us it’s like oh this is so this is about so much more than speaking it’s always that that comes up and I think it’s because you because it’s not about how you move your hands or where you look or how you structure your speech and it’s more about who you are how you’re showing up how much Faith you have yeah that in order to access that you need to you need to rewire your brain you need to literally change certain ways in which you show up in the world and you can’t do that just for speaking and for one moment you when if you change something and how you show up it’s it’s going to spread speaking is a meta skill it it improves everything and spreads out so that’s why I think this is such a worthy Pursuit because if you’re stuck in your ego you’re not going to be able to break through until you realize that and you see it yeah and then you have a choice to do something about it and if you do yeah there’s Magic on the other side yeah we don’t get that by the way that feedback at all because we we’re not promising something like it’s one of the weird things about us is that like we don’t have that one thing that we’re you know that we’re focused on that is a gateway to something much bigger we’re just like ah here’s a whole bunch of stuff we didn’t Market all that well but people come and then they recommend it to their friends and it kind of shows up you say that but you guys have insane word of mouth so whatever you’re doing is working very very very well yeah yeah yeah it’s a pleasure um cool man I think that feels really good that feels what a pleasure to be with you again have a second conversation with you for all of you who are listening we had had a conversation the first time and I had screwed up the micing so you didn’t you lost some really good parts of that conversation but this one also feels really good so I agree what a pleasure what a pleasure to see you again absolutely it was my pleasure too