Joe observes that people obsess over the doing half of communication — what to say, when to say it, how the slides look — while completely neglecting the receiving half: listening, pausing, allowing. This extends beyond speaking into fundraising, leadership, coaching, and life itself. “People are far more concerned with the format of their PowerPoint presentation than ‘how am I going to listen when I go into this meeting?‘”
The first year of coaching training at Art of Accomplishment is half about listening, because how you listen determines what information you receive, how close people feel to you, and whether they feel supported or alienated. The same is true with investors, customers, partners.
Pausing — which Tristan identifies as a core Ultra Speaking practice — is essentially listening. And most people genuinely cannot do it. The inability to pause stems from deep beliefs: “I’m not worth it,” “this space should be used by someone more worthy,” “if I pause I’ll look stupid.” The pause reveals everything about your relationship with yourself.
Related Concepts
- The subconscious always has the answer on a platter
- How we listen shapes what we hear
- Active listening is asking questions