Joe distinguishes between active listening (asking questions to evoke information) and passive listening (receiving information). Both matter, but active listening — asking questions — is what most people neglect, especially in high-stakes situations.
In 15 years of venture capital, only four or five people out of thousands of pitches ever asked Joe what he actually wanted to see. The rare CEO who said “Tell me what you’re looking for so I can tell you if we’re a fit” stood out immediately. The same pattern shows up in hiring: the best candidates are always the ones who asked more questions than they answered.
“If you’re asking somebody questions you’re basically saying hey, I’m interested in how you think. I’m interested in our connection.”
Asking questions signals genuine interest and creates the conditions for relationship. It’s the opposite of performing — it’s attending.
Related Concepts
- How we listen shapes what we hear
- Being interested rather than interesting creates connection
- Asking questions is the most powerful form of active listening