People have a story about how they’re messed up, but the story about how they’re messed up IS the problem. The consciousness that got you into the problem isn’t going to be the consciousness that gets you out of it.
The man in the coaching session had been telling himself “I’m a procrastinator” 20 times a day for decades. That story never gave him freedom. So why keep believing it instead of questioning it? Joe’s first move is always to deconstruct the story—not allow it to stand as truth.
“People have a story about how they’re messed up. But the story about how they’re messed up is the problem. And this is so important if you’re thinking about your procrastination.”
The pattern is self-reinforcing: life constantly shows counter-evidence to the story, but the mind immediately generates a new problem to maintain the narrative. “Oh, it’s not procrastination—it’s perfectionism!” Same trap, new label. The fixing mindset keeps finding things to fix because the underlying identity of brokenness hasn’t been questioned.
Related Concepts
- Any self-definition limits you
- Stuck is a feeling, not reality
- Shame stagnates behavior
- Procrastination is not who you are — and knowing that is the real pain
- The fixing mindset perpetuates the very stuckness it tries to solve
- Procrastination cannot exist without self-abuse
- Asking ‘how do I stop’ keeps you in the doing loop
- Compulsive fixing avoids being present