Finding a romantic partner is not a numbers game. There is no “the one” until you’re in the relationship — there are many potential matches. The real variable is readiness: are you prepared and willing to accept love into your life? Joe observes that when clients do the inner work of becoming ready for intimacy, a committed relationship consistently appears within three to four months.
The evidence is all around us: people of every kind find partners. Someone who is perpetually single despite being a “total catch” by society’s standards is not lacking options — they’re lacking readiness. Meanwhile, people who move easily from relationship to relationship often simply have less resistance to intimacy.
“It’s not at all about meeting the right person… it’s more about when are you ready for the right person to show up in your life.”
Joe also notes that the list of requirements people create (“here’s the six things I need”) never matches reality. When they do the inner work and find love, the partner invariably doesn’t check all those boxes — and it doesn’t matter. Marriage can be understood as “two people thinking that they’re not good enough coming together in an attempt to try to find out that they’re good enough.”
Related Concepts
- Be yourself and the relationship question answers itself
- Becoming someone to be loved means never being loved
- Partners are perfectly matched to trigger you