Joe describes parenting as “a deep tissue massage—if you resist it, you’re fucked.” When he sat with his children’s big emotions, he had to confront the emotions he himself was never allowed to have. The practice of Hand in Hand Parenting became one of the most important spiritual practices of his life.
He and Tara made parenting a conscious self-development practice: regularly discussing what they were learning, how they wanted to grow, and how parenting was changing them. This kept them developing as humans, not just as parents. “There’s nobody who’s walked away from parenting and said I haven’t changed a bit.”
The key insight is that while all caretaking flows toward the child, both parents grow enormously in the process—if they surrender to it rather than resist. Joe’s advice: treat it as a practice, find a conscious partner to process with, and allow parenting to transform you.
“Parenting is like a deep tissue massage—if you resist it, you’re fucked.”
Related Concepts
- Parenting as ego dissolution
- Connection is the core need in parenting
- Parenting is the deepest ego work you can do
- To not harm your children, love yourself
- Teaching children to reference themselves builds their internal compass