Joe offers a simple practice: close your eyes, listen to your thoughts, and every time one is derogatory or self-defeating, say “ouch” out loud. The caller initially says he doesn’t hear any mean thoughts — then reports “I’ll never find a way out of this money block.” Joe points out: that’s an ouch.
The practice works because it creates a gap between you and the thought. Instead of believing the inner critic’s narrative (which keeps it going — “like a politician the population believes in”), you respond with recognition that it hurts. This is neither fighting the critic nor agreeing with it — it’s acknowledging the pain while stepping outside the story.
“If you believe everything it says, it continues. Why would it not? Think about it like it’s a politician and if the population believes in it, it just keeps going.”
Other responses Joe suggests: “I see that you’re scared and I’m right here with you,” or simply “I wonder if that’s true.” The key is changing your relationship to the voice rather than trying to silence it. Trying to stop it doesn’t work. Reacting differently does.
Related Concepts
- The inner critic as guide
- Welcome the inner critic
- The inner critic is not your voice
- The ‘ouch’ technique silences the inner critic and creates genuine rest
- Respond differently to the inner critic as a practice
- Speaking truth requires an open heart, not management of others’ reactions
- Resisting the inner critic only strengthens it