When Samson comes to Joe for coaching, he can’t simply ask his question. He contextualizes, hedges, closes his eyes, moves into somatic language, establishes his credentials—all while genuinely seeking support. Joe points out: “Right there you’re losing yourself even though it feels like ‘oh I’m somatically aware, I’m doing the somatic work, I’m presencing myself,’ but you’re actually moving away from a part of yourself.”
The performance of awareness can itself be the defense. Spiritual or psychological sophistication becomes the very thing that prevents the raw, simple, incomplete question from landing: “Would I be welcomed or accepted just as I am without needing to do anything to be there?”
“My heart doesn’t care. Does yours?”
The breakthrough isn’t in finding the right words or the right somatic state. It’s in being willing to be seen as someone who doesn’t have it together—right now, in this moment, with eyes open, in connection with another human being.
Related Concepts
- Can’t be seen if not being yourself
- Vulnerability produces love, not rejection
- People want connection, not perfection
- The defensive pattern is always visible in the present moment
- Everyone already knows the way home