After a significant shift, the temptation is to quickly figure out who you are now. Joe advises the opposite: stay in the unknown as long as possible.
“If you try to shove it into a box as soon as possible, what you’re doing is you’re using the old mental model to shove it into the box.”
The Problem
When your identity shifts, you don’t know who you are anymore. That’s uncomfortable. So you try to define yourself quickly—but the only tools you have are your old patterns of thinking.
Using old mental models to define your new self recreates the old self.
The Alternative
“Just be in the unknown for as long as you possibly can be. And watch what unravels naturally.”
Trust that clarity will come. You’ll be at the supermarket and suddenly know what to eat. You’ll know which friends fit. You’ll know what feels good. But only if you don’t force it.
The Cost of Rushing
“If you try to make it happen too quickly, you have to do the work often again and again until you can just allow yourself to be in the unknown.”
Rushing the process means repeating the process.