Joe draws a powerful parallel across biological, financial, and relational systems: all require regular tension to stay healthy. Lungs need tension to breathe. Cells need tension to exist. Muscles need the tension of exercise to grow strong. Nassim Taleb’s insight about financial markets applies too—when small corrections are suppressed, catastrophic collapses follow.
Relationships work the same way. The more transformation happening in a couple’s life, the more tension will arise naturally. This tension isn’t a problem—it’s a sign of vitality. The danger comes not from tension itself but from avoiding it, which causes stagnation and eventual collapse.
“The avoidance of the friction is an amazingly detrimental thing to a relationship because it basically kills it, it stagnates it.”
Related Concepts
- Chaos is necessary for growth
- Conflict avoidance prevents evolution
- Resisted stress harms, unresisted stress enlivens
- Suppressing transitions creates bigger eventual disruptions