What society calls humility is often conflict avoidance, caretaking, codependence, or making yourself small. Joe is emphatic: none of these are humility. True humility means walking into situations where you know you’ll be attacked — with an open heart rather than a defensive shield.
Martin Luther King exemplifies this distinction. His humility wasn’t in staying quiet or deferring to authority. It was in being non-defended, non-violent, and non-retaliatory while doing exactly what he was called to do, even knowing he’d be attacked. The humble person doesn’t avoid conflict — they enter it without armor.
“To avoid it and to be small and to think that you can’t do it — that isn’t humility. That is just another way to defend yourself through avoidance.”
Deflecting a compliment or a promotion with “oh no, it was nothing” isn’t humility either. That’s ego preventing you from receiving. The humble response is to let recognition move all the way through you.
Related Concepts
- Conflict avoidance prevents evolution
- Disappearing as a survival strategy
- Empowerment and unconditional love are the same feeling
- Humility can require self-care
- Following your calling requires humility even when it’s uncomfortable