Confidence is not a skill. You can’t build confidence being somebody you’re not. Confidence is how connected to yourself you are while you’re doing what you’re doing.
Brett illustrates this from an Ignite talk where he paused, lost his place, looked out at friends supporting him, and then continued. Viewed through a confidence-building lens, that was a failure. But the audience said it was beautiful—he’d just demonstrated in real time what he was teaching. Being seen in that vulnerable moment helped him see himself, and that was what built genuine confidence.
“You can’t build confidence being somebody who you aren’t. Confidence is how connected to yourself you are as you are doing what you’re doing.”
This makes “fake it till you make it” counterproductive for imposter syndrome: you’re trying to build confidence by being someone else, which by definition can never produce confidence in yourself.
Related Concepts
- Being yourself designs your life
- Can’t be seen if not being yourself
- Imposter syndrome is a sign you’re not being yourself