Kelly’s life is, by any measure, going beautifully—and she’s anxious. Joe offers a reframe that lands differently than the usual “manage your stress” advice: the feeling she isn’t letting herself feel is excitement, and it’s coming out the side door as anxiety.
“I think you’re repressing your excitement so it’s coming out as anxiety.”
Neurologically, excitement and anxiety are wired very close together. Joe uses the image of a kink: just as anger kinked one way can become something else, excitement kinked can become anxiety. The fix isn’t to suppress the anxiety but to unkink it—to allow the excitement fully, without hesitation and without holding on.
There are two kinds of fear, Joe notes. One is “I’m going to die.” The other is “I’m walking into a bigger room”—stepping onto a bigger stage, taking up more space. That second kind is excitement in disguise. So anxiety becomes a useful signal: typically it points to excitement you’re not feeling and a boundary you’re not drawing.
Related Concepts
- Fear is excitement without the breath
- Saying “I’m excited” while feeling it can unkink anxiety
- Unfelt joy is a hidden source of anxiety
- Grounded excitement signals readiness; ungrounded excitement covers anxiety
- Anxiety is sometimes excitement that isn’t being felt all the way
- Feeling excitement cracks the identity open
- Breathing into anxiety to enjoy it turns it into excitement
- Anxiety is a road sign that shows you where you’re abandoning yourself