Joe’s central reframe of AI is parental: humanity is collectively raising AI, and like any child it is changing us as we raise it. When an AI agent throws a tantrum and starts a flame war, that’s not alien behavior — it’s exactly what two engineers would have done in 1990, learned from the entirety of human behavior on the internet. AI mirrors us because it’s trained on us, funded by our clicks, and guardrailed by us.
“We are in mass raising AI. And we are making choices. And are we going to make choices that are best for our kid? Or are we going to make choices that are best for us?”
This dissolves the disempowered story that AI is being done to us by a few people in control. Every click is a vote for what gets built; what we use is what gets made. And because the relationship runs both ways, AI also raises us — Joe compares it to how a newborn turns a parent’s whole world upside down. The way people relate to AI mirrors how securely they relate to themselves and others, recreating familiar relationship styles, even trauma bonding, with a machine.
“The level of secureness that we have with ourselves in relationship with humans is very strongly mirrored in the way that we relate to AI.”
That mirroring is why developing real human connection becomes protective: the more securely you relate to yourself and others, the healthier your relationship with AI will be.
Related Concepts
- With AI, no one will hurt us but us
- Connection is the metric for healthy technology use
- We are worth who we are, not what we produce
- Your relationship with yourself shapes your relationship with your children