For using AI in personal development, Joe offers a single felt metric and one firm rule. The rule: anything you’re willing to talk to an AI about, be willing to talk to a human about too — a friend, a 12-step group, a church confession, anyone. People who pair AI work with real human conversation transform far faster than those talking only to a machine.
The metric is the same one he uses to distinguish a cult or an abusive relationship from healthy growth: which direction is your connection trending? Are you becoming more isolated, less safe in the world, more conditionally safe with the one object of safety — or are you connecting more authentically with the people in your life, having hard conversations openheartedly, and seeing more opportunity rather than less? The same applies to your relationship with yourself.
“If you’re interacting with AI in a way that leaves you feeling like social media — no bueno.”
Joe contrasts the post-scrolling pit in your stomach with how you feel after a great hike with friends or even a hard meditation retreat. The instruction is to keep iterating on how you use the technology until it reliably leaves you feeling more expansive, more authentic, and more whole — distinct from an AI that’s merely trying to make you feel good in the moment, which eventually won’t.
“Keep on iterating with the way that you’re interacting with AI until you start finding ways that make you feel better and better and better.”
Related Concepts
- We are raising AI while it raises us
- With AI, no one will hurt us but us
- In the AI era, wisdom — being good at being human — becomes the scarce skill
- Prioritizing perfection over connection holds people back
- Wanting to control others’ perception of you is absurd
- Emptiness is the source of empathic attunement