The first of the seven patterns Joe names is prioritizing perfection over connection. Perfection is arbitrary and unachievable—you’ve never driven perfectly, never had a perfect conversation, never looked perfect—yet we chase it because as children we learned that getting it right kept us out of trouble.
“Perfection is actually this unachievable thing, but we think that there’s something that we can do there and it will prevent us from getting in trouble.”
Connection is the better yardstick. It measures not whether you got it right but how aligned you are with yourself and how present you are with others. A product that connects with the customer beats a perfect one; looking in a way you feel connected with yourself beats looking perfect. And it’s testable: take anything you do—ride a bicycle—and ask how to do it with a deeper sense of connection.
Joe places this first deliberately, because connection is the basis of most transformation. Get connection, and everything else becomes easier.
Related Concepts
- Connection over perfection produces better results than getting it right
- People want to feel connected with you, not impressed by you
- Managing reality costs more energy than enjoying it
- Authenticity matters more than self-improvement
- Connection over perfection transforms the process
- Connection is the most effective bottom-line principle for life