The crucial thing Joe realized about vulnerability, impartiality, empathy, and wonder is that they aren’t moves you execute — they’re a way of being. How the great coaches held the person mattered far more than anything they said.

“This wasn’t a technique, it was a mindset… the way that they held the person was far more important than what they said.”

So Joe didn’t practice view only during coaching; he turned it into a lifestyle experiment for months. He found it was a bigger change agent than any coaching session he’d ever been in. Meditation, which had been about trying to get somewhere, transformed when he brought impartiality to it — and enjoyment increased. The same shift showed up in ordinary conversation, in business, in management, and in sitting with himself: “All of a sudden people want to do business with me. All of a sudden my relationships are better. All of a sudden sitting with myself is just easier.”

Because view is a state of mind rather than a script, the connection course that grew out of it isn’t teaching a communication technique or how to handle difficult conversations — though both improve. It’s teaching how to be with yourself and others in a way that’s highly effective and full of ease and enjoyment. The mindset is the method.

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