When pleasure is allowed deeply, it becomes so expansive that the felt boundary of who you are begins to dissolve. Joe describes this as “so big that it’s hard to exist inside of it” — your solid perimeter starts melting. One participant described it as feeling like falling, until she realized that falling that never ends is flying, or being held.
This is why pleasure can be more intense and frightening than pain, anger, or grief. You lose yourself in it, lose control, and for people whose safety depends on maintaining composure, this is terrifying. It’s similar to the difficulty some people have with orgasm — the loss of control required feels dangerous.
“The experience of pleasure is incredibly expansive. It’s so big that it’s hard to exist inside of it… your solid boundary starts dissolving.”
This is why embracing intensity is essential to this work — not just the intensity of difficult emotions, but the intensity of joy, peace, and pleasure, which Joe finds far more intense than rage.
Related Concepts
- Dissolution of self is what love requires
- Embrace intensity for transformation
- Sense of self expands then dissolves
- Joy dissolves identity and that’s what makes it scary
- Pleasure is available in every emotion when fully felt
- The expansiveness underneath resistance to love is overwhelming and amazing
- Drawing boundaries dissolves triggers