Joe Sanok tells a story of losing his temper and telling his kids to “put your fucking laundry away” — then storming out. What happened next matters more than the outburst: he regrouped, came back, and processed the whole thing with his daughters. Why was he so mad? Was the f-word appropriate? What could he have done differently? What should they have done? How do you recover and apologize?
The conversation modeled something more valuable than never losing your temper: it modeled the full cycle of rupture and repair. Kids learn that emotions are normal, that adults get overwhelmed too, that there’s a process for coming back from a breakdown, and that vulnerability and accountability are strengths.
Brett names the deeper pattern: Sanok sits with his kids in the question “how do we want to be right now?” rather than imposing “what should we have done?” He’s teaching that life is an experiment where you discover what’s authentic for you, not a system of fixed right and wrong. The laundry F-bomb became a richer teaching moment than a thousand perfectly managed evenings.
Related Concepts
- Repair is as important as getting it right
- Model emotions for children
- Upright apology changes behavior