Most companies make significant decisions about people without talking to those people first. Joe says this is where people stop feeling heard — and it’s completely unnecessary, because you can listen to objections and still make the exact same decision, and people will understand it far better.
“If you just give a moment to hear objections and make the same decision, people will understand the decision you make much better than if you don’t listen at all.”
Leaders avoid this because getting context would evoke uncomfortable emotions — it’s easier to decide without the messy human input. Joe compares it to not potty-training a dog: easier today, but you’ll have poop on your rug for the rest of your life.
This connects directly to the “how much do you love me” question in culture. People don’t need to get their way — they need to feel heard. The act of listening is the answer to the question, regardless of the outcome.
Related Concepts
- Both people in a fight want to be seen
- All cultural dysfunction comes from two questions
- A company is just relationships and decisions
- Asking questions is the most powerful form of active listening
- You cannot judge the value of your own input
- Communication techniques get weaponized without the right state