Joe describes a pattern he’s observed in long-term clients: after a year or two of deep work, people reach a place where trauma no longer drives them — they feel love, compassion, oneness. Then, roughly six months later, something happens. They appear to revert, sometimes for three to four months, into something deeper than where they started — profound attachment issues, inability to see the world clearly. They can even articulate it: “I’m not seeing the world clearly.”
But when they emerge from this phase, they’re far softer — radiating love to everyone around them. Bessel connects this to IFS (Internal Family Systems): when a protective “manager” part that has kept you invulnerable is finally asked to step aside, it screams. The trick is to validate that part — honor how it helped you survive — and then gently invite a change in its job description.
This regression phase represents the deepest protective parts surfacing last, at the base of the personality, barely visible at the start. The biggest hiccup comes near the end, not the beginning.
Related Concepts
- Love the protective part before asking it to change
- Comfort can prevent transformation
- Grief is necessary for transformation
- Sustained grief transforms everything it touches