Connection is not a particular emotional state — it is a meta state that can encompass all states. You can be in connection when sad, angry, crying, or joyful. You can also be out of connection during any of those same experiences. This means connection is fundamentally different from feeling good or being calm.
Joe describes connection as “being in touch with what is in the present,” which leads to expansion, more energy, and a sense of something beyond yourself. The key insight is that you can even be in connection with a sense of disconnection. In group settings, the moment someone honestly says “I feel out of connection right now,” relief floods in and actual connection begins — because someone honored what is rather than performing what should be.
“I can be in connection when I’m sad, I can be in connection when I’m crying, I can be in connection when I’m angry… and I can be out of connection when I’m doing all those things.”
This reframes the pursuit of connection entirely. Rather than chasing a particular feeling, connection is about being present with whatever is actually happening — the full spectrum of human experience.
Related Concepts
- Being with emotions beats fixing them
- Emotions are always present
- Connection starts within, not between