Nobody compliments the authority figure. It’s one of the hidden costs of leadership—you’re the one saying “great work,” and nobody says it back. This is part of why leaders feel alone.
But there’s a counterintuitive power move: complimenting others’ work naturally positions you as an authority. When Joe advises executives struggling with peer dynamics, he tells them: just compliment people’s work. It makes you the authority in the room—because that’s the role the authority plays that nobody reciprocates.
“One of the things I’ll say to them is: just compliment people on their work. It makes you the authority in the room.”
This also reveals why authority figures crave feedback so desperately—and why giving genuine recognition to a leader can be one of the most powerful relational moves. Alexa giving Joe two genuine compliments in six months meant the world to him, not because of flattery, but because it meant she saw him as human.