Joe tells a team two hours into a meeting: “I can’t trust this team to actually do the work you’re saying you’re going to do.” He then goes around the room asking each person what happened — not to shame them, but to find structural solutions. Later, when someone says “not all meetings can be five-star — what if you have to give people a talking-to?” Joe points out: “I just gave you a talking-to an hour and a half ago. How was that?” They all laughed — because it had been productive.
“Nobody minds being called out if they’re not being shamed, if they’re not being told they’re bad.”
The difference is the starting orientation. Joe comes at it with: “You didn’t become vice presidents of a billion-dollar company because you wanted to do bad work. I got you.” That’s seeing people’s goodness while naming the problem directly. It’s not political (indirect, hedged) — it’s tactical (direct, vulnerable, open-hearted).
He also shares the story of a woman who told a notorious yelling CEO: “I see how much you care. I see how frustrated you are. Everyone here wants to help you. It’s just hard when you’re yelling at us.” That was the last time he yelled at her team. Seeing the human behind the behavior disarms the behavior.