Great leaders demonstrate that responsibility and shame are separate things. “The buck stops here” — Truman’s famous desk sign — shows that taking full responsibility doesn’t require feeling bad about yourself. It shows the team: this isn’t about shame, it’s about taking responsibility.
Joe describes two leadership moves that break the shame hot potato: (1) “We’re not going to spend time figuring out who’s to blame. We’re going to figure out how to make sure this doesn’t happen again.” (2) “The whole thing is my responsibility. I’m the leader. I take full responsibility. Now how are we going to fix it?”
The key distinction: “I can be wrong and I don’t need to take on any kind of shame.” Making a mistake doesn’t mean you’re bad, didn’t have good intentions, or weren’t trying. You can acknowledge error while maintaining your essential goodness.
“Whether it’s true or not true is somewhat irrelevant. What’s relevant is what’s effective. We all know that companies that are constantly blaming one another are less effective than companies where everybody takes responsibility.”
This applies personally too: constantly blaming yourself is less effective than taking responsibility in a non-shameful way. It’s an “upright, very empowered” act — scary in the moment but deeply powerful.