Brett Kistler describes presenting with ADHD-like symptoms throughout school and his career. He now recognizes that when he can’t concentrate, it’s generally because there’s something unfelt — often some form of anxiety — that he’s not letting himself feel. The avoidance of that emotion decreases working memory and produces compulsive distraction: switching apps constantly, going to the fridge three times in 20 minutes.
“I now recognize that when that’s occurring to me to this day it’s generally because there’s something unfelt, often some form of anxiety that I’m just not letting myself feel, and the avoidance of that just decreases my working memory and makes me go distracted.”
As a freelance programmer, this pattern was devastating: falling behind on a project would trigger anxiety, which he wouldn’t let himself feel, which destroyed his focus, which caused him to fall further behind. He describes maintaining a “keeping it together attitude of powering through and staying positive and staying tasked and goal oriented” — which was a farce, because he was actually doing anything but his work.
The tell is reliable: if you find yourself compulsively distracted, the question isn’t about willpower or discipline. The question is: what am I avoiding feeling right now? Joe adds that fear makes the mind binary — “this or that” instead of the thousands of answers usually available — which is another useful signal that unfelt fear is operating.
Related Concepts
- Anxiety is detrimental to productivity
- Dissociation as double-edged sword
- Unfelt emotions create physical stress
- Procrastination is the avoidance of an emotional state