The trying that creates suffering isn’t the same as doing or taking action. It’s the efforting that comes from trying to get out of an experience — trying to escape what’s present rather than allowing it. Brett captures it precisely: trying involves resistance to the experience that makes it trying.
Joe distinguishes natural tension (which exists in every cell of nature, in every growing thing) from counterproductive trying. A tree sprout growing through a crack in concrete isn’t trying — it’s just growing. Evolution happens whether we try or not, and often happens quicker without our interference, just as it does in children who grow enormously with very little effort.
“The trying that is ineffective usually happens because we are trying to get out of an experience. It’s not hugging the cactus — it’s trying to get away from the cactus.”
When Brett notices he’s trying, he finds there’s usually something he doesn’t want to feel — often helplessness or fear. That unfelt emotion sends him into a blinders focus, a fight-flight state that reduces capacity for authenticity, joy, and peace. The trying also consumes enormous energy — people who stop managing and controlling their experience often find they have so much freed-up energy they can’t sleep for days.
Related Concepts
- Resistance changes the emotion
- Helplessness is the emotion being avoided
- Emotional avoidance creates blind spots
- Trying to feel joy is the resistance that pushes it away
- The discomfort of emotions is the resistance to them, not the emotions themselves