One reason the golden algorithm is hard to see is “time dilation” — we trade long-term wellbeing for short-term adequacy. Our mammalian reward system was built for short-term survival: avoiding the poisonous mushroom, fleeing the predator. This works well for physical threats but fails catastrophically for psychological ones.
When someone points out an error and we feel pain, our evolved response is to get defensive — to avoid the short-term discomfort. But this defensive avoidance creates long-term problems: damaged relationships, repeated mistakes, mounting resentment. The emotional avoidance system that kept mammals alive doesn’t work for protecting a sense of identity.
“Our reward system as a mammal was built in such a way for short-term rewards to be the important one because we didn’t have psychological development then.”
People often think they’re being strategic when they’re actually avoiding — giving things away to a client to avoid the discomfort of naming what they want, for instance. The only way to distinguish strategy from avoidance is to feel into your system and notice: am I avoiding anything right now?
Related Concepts
- Avoidance creates the pattern it fears
- Good decisions feel right now, not later
- Urgency as motivation is a trap