Most people evaluate decisions by outcomes: did I get the result I wanted? Joe reframes this entirely. A good decision is one that “feels really good inside of you” — where you feel aligned with your authenticity, present in yourself, and could be happy with consequences either way because the decision itself felt right.
This isn’t about comfort. Joe invokes Mandela breaking stones in a quarry — not comfortable, but present, true to himself. The “good feeling” is the sense of being in yourself, empowered, saying “this is who I am.” It’s presence, not pleasure.
“Instead of trying to get the best outcome or get the right outcome, I’m gonna change my focus to how does it feel best in me.”
Brett draws a powerful parallel: making decisions to please your imagined future self is like organizing your relationship to make the other person happy — it’s hell. You end up perpetually sacrificing the present for a fantasy. When the focus shifts to “how do I want to be right now in this decision,” fear evaporates, binary thinking dissolves, and new options become visible that weren’t there before.
“If you make decisions from what you think your future feeling is going to be, then you’re basically telling yourself that I am prioritizing my imaginary fantasy future over my present.”
Related Concepts
- Decisions as portfolio not single bet
- All decisions are emotional
- Purpose is lived in the present moment
- Surrender outcomes to decide clearly