When Joe guides the participant to intensify their feeling of stuckness rather than escape it, something remarkable happens: the participant hits a “black hole” that feels terrifying, goes into it—and comes right back out, smiling. The avoidance of the abyss was the stuckness all along, not the abyss itself.
The participant’s strategy had been to create perfect circumstances so they’d never have to feel the abyss again. But this strategy is the trap—you can’t engineer conditions that prevent a fundamental human feeling. The alternative is to welcome the feeling: “Yay, there’s the feeling—that’s my unstuck place.”
“You are avoiding something that is your relief. You are running away from the thing that brings you freedom quickest.” This is a recurring theme in Joe’s work—what we resist most fiercely is often the doorway to what we most want.
Related Concepts
- The abyss you avoid is your freedom
- Avoidance is the stuckness, not the feeling
- Stuck is a feeling, not reality
- Feeling helplessness creates empowerment
- Intensifying a feeling moves you through it rather than trapping you
- We recreate painful circumstances to finally welcome the avoided emotion
- Fear is present on every path so face it directly