The most profound transformations happen when the sense of self changes. Joe describes people who avoid looking at an abyss — a place in their psyche they don’t want to examine. When they finally see it for what it is, “they see it as a direct path to freedom and they jump into it.” Like Luke Skywalker going into the cave, facing the abyss causes the sense of self to collapse and reconstitute in a wider, more universal form.
We define ourselves in contrast — “I am this, not that.” Every time something we thought we were “not” gets included, the sense of self expands. This can manifest as awakening (seeing you are everything), as Zen sickness (depersonalization that occurs when the expanded self feels threatening), or as a dark night of the soul. Joe notes that “a good percentage of what people call depersonalization disorder is like a Zen sickness of Awakening” — the same experience, but resisted.
The resistance determines the suffering, not the transformation itself. “If you get Zen sickness and you say ‘oh okay, this is normal,’ you have a very different experience than if you’re like ‘what the hell is happening, how do I get it to stop.‘”
Related Concepts
- The abyss you avoid is your freedom
- Sense of self expands then dissolves
- Dissolution of self is what love requires
- Awakening is not what your mind can think it is
- Awakening happens through the head, the heart, and the gut
- Enjoying the sensations rather than bracing eases the integration
- The dissolution of self happens through many paths