In Joe’s coaching training, the first year is entirely dedicated to presence — how you show up, how you listen. The way you show up determines more about how the person across from you will show up than anything else. This is the “sushi rice” — like the famous story of spending ten years perfecting the rice before anything else.
The foundational ingredients Joe identifies for coaching, in order: (1) commitment to self-awareness over being a coach, (2) recognizing presence means more than skills — “how do I listen, how am I with you, how open is my heart,” (3) listening to yourself and saying the scary thing in the moment, (4) some technique, and (5) owning your narcissism while recognizing you’re not special.
“How do you show up, how do you listen — the first year is all about presence.”
Technique without presence is dangerous. There are plenty of places to learn technique. But how you hold space, how you listen, what happens in your nervous system when someone cries or argues — that’s what creates transformation. When Joe is coaching and someone argues, cries, or melts down, his orientation is simply: “What’s happening? How can I be with you?”
Related Concepts
- The highest generosity is presence
- Loving presence must be embodied
- How we listen shapes what we hear