The man feels a “power inside” he is constantly holding back, and he assumes the thing being held back is anger or aggression. As Joe watches, something else surfaces: the more the man says “I’m not a calm person, I’m just holding back my power,” the more he smiles. The held-back power turns out to be inseparable from his joy.
“How much of your power that you’re holding back is actually also your joy. >> Oh 100%.”
You can’t selectively clamp down on one channel of life force. The same valve that mutes the man’s anger mutes his joy, and ultimately his love. What he calls a dangerous power he must contain is really “this energy of love that’s just dying to come out.” Joe puts the obstacle squarely back on him: the problem isn’t the love, it’s the holding back.
“You is trouble doing that. Just to be clear.”
When the man finally says “you got to take my love or leave it, I can’t hold it back anymore,” the power, joy, and love all arrive together—because they were never separate to begin with.
Related Concepts
- Appearing calm trades away your joy, power, and love
- Joy requires welcoming all emotions
- Suppressing anger kills your fire, determination, and clarity
- Waiting for zero internal conflict before acting keeps you stuck
- Self-pressure suppresses the love and awareness underneath
- Staying calm can be a childhood role taken on to stay safe
- Suppressing one emotion suppresses them all