Summary
In this coaching session, Joe works with a woman who feels constricted around money despite positive things happening in her life after completing a master class. She discovers that her resistance to money isn’t really about money itself—it’s about safety, being seen, and childhood conditioning from growing up on a farm where there was no financial security, compounded by a recent divorce.
Joe guides her to see that wanting money is really wanting freedom and safety—things everyone wants—and that her belief that she must work hard to earn anything (including attention and love) is a projection from childhood. The session culminates in her apologizing to money for the projections she placed on it, and discovering that money, like love, is something to be received rather than earned.
Through the exploration, she realizes that what she made most important in her life became something she felt she had to earn, which paradoxically pushed it away. When she feels the same warmth toward money that she feels when her family sees her, something shifts fundamentally.
Key Concepts
- Money as a projection of childhood patterns
- Depersonalizing money creates freedom
- Money blocks are really safety blocks
- Performing for connection blocks authentic receiving
Key Quotes
“How much money do you have to have for you to think that you’re selfish?”
“What’s wrong with being lucky around money instead of earning it?”
“Any constriction is left around money—it’s not about that, it’s about the safety.”
“I’m sorry for making you the most important thing in my life… because that being seen is painful, whatever the most important thing in your life is something that you make something that you have to earn and therefore push it away.”
“There’s no way money could have taught you so much if it wasn’t seeing you on some level or reacting to some truth in you.”
Transcript
so since master class and everything’s over um at first I was kind of like well I don’t feel any different and you yeah typical um and then like as you have said everything is starting to like happen for me like things are happening out of nowhere and and it’s been amazing and I’m so like grateful and thankful and all these things but I find that I’m still having like such a restriction around money like yeah it just keeps you know these things are happening I’m really excited about him can’t wait to do it can’t wait to pursue this but it’s always like comes back to money yeah and I so want that to stop how much money do you have to be do you have to have for um you to think that you’re selfish any makes sense that you don’t want any money then wow yeah yeah so what makes you selfish for wanting let’s be ridiculous let’s say $100 million what makes that selfish to have a100 million or to want $100 million because other people deserve it as well so if you have $100 million other people can’t have $100 million no okay so then what I haven’t earned it so let’s just say being born into this country makes it more likely for you to have $100 million than being born in sub Sahara Africa so in a weird way none of us have earned it like there’s a certain amount of Fortune or luck in all of it I having coached quite a few billionaires I think they would also recognize that there’s a certain amount of luck timing to it so what’s wrong with being lucky not earning it you got lucky to be here you got lucky to be picked you didn’t earn it you’re gonna Siege your time for someone else no oh yeah there’s just a lot of like Yeah from my childhood of um yeah so much was yeah so what’s wrong with being lucky around money instead of earning it what’s what’s wrong with the fact that there’s just huge gifts in the world like our time together right now nothing so if you’d say out loud I want a ton of money out loud in front of all these people and then tell me tell me what happens when you say it I want a ton of money it’s like an electric oh like right in my chest yeah and what does money give you Freedom so say I want to ton of freedom I want to ton of Freedom what else does money give you the ability to feel safe I want a ton of security or I want a ton of an ability to feel safe whatever the words are I want a ton of safety in my life so tell me if if we ask everybody in this group do you want freedom and do you want security I would assume most people would raise their hands they all selfish not at all not at all yeah so what if any constriction is left around money yeah it’s not about that it’s about the safety tell me more what what what is that that you just discovered it’s a couple of things it’s it’s like um it’s my childhood of um my dad was a farmer and you know there was no safety in that you got piled out in 30 seconds and it was all over for the year yeah so there was that from my childhood and then more recently it’s my divorce and having to like completely start over again yeah yeah how does that not prove your safety um here you are after a divorce and after probably countless hail storms yeah I’m still here okay last thing is let’s reverse it for a second what’s what’s what’s dirty about money what’s wrong with money what’s bad about money probably something your farmer father said about rich people whatever like what I don’t know many farmers who really liked rich people worked with a lot of farmers it was probably more my mother than my father um yeah there was oh yeah there was a lot about like they didn’t deserve they didn’t work as hard they didn’t serve it they we got held out they didn’t right yeah so luck is related to know some of the like people who started the big Silicon Valley companies they didn’t work any harder than the farmers that I know it’s true yeah so is that a problem with money or is that a problem with people definitely people yeah so try this one I don’t want to work hard oh yeah that’s uh well that’s like viscerally restrictive no yeah right you you haven’t even said it yet oh you really want me to say that okay um I don’t want to work hard what’s wrong I don’t want to work hard you’re I know you have you have kids yeah yeah three h how many of them wanted to work hard when they were like three years old or seven years old or 14 years old not at all and what what’s wrong with you if you don’t want to work hard or them if they don’t want to work hard or me if I don’t want to work hard yeah there’s like a you’re not good enough if you don’t work hard oh wow how about if how about me I work a lot but I don’t work hard I’m not even sure if I can call it work here I am I’m working currently what then what does that say about me if I don’t want to work hard but I I love to work yeah if you enjoy what you’re doing somehow that’s not work right right so probably having money isn’t even enjoyable then let’s try I I want to enjoy my money I want to enjoy my yeah what is it that you really have to work hard for what did you really get taught you had to work hard for if it wasn’t money because it’s not true about attention from your parents yeah I just want to prove for a minute that even that’s not true how hard did you work for the last seven minutes with us being together on the call how hard was that work wasn’t hard it was fun and what do you think when we’re done how many things in the chat are going to give you praise and attention and what happens when you let that in for a minute that you don’t even have to work hard for praise and attention it feels like kind of painful a little bit yes so go right into that pain what what is that pain like a being seen not being seen yeah just just want you to apologize to money for the projection you projected in whatever words that you that are most aligned in you like how would you apologize to money for the projections that you put onto it I’m sorry for making you the most important thing in my life and because that being seen as painful whatever the most important thing in your life is something that you make something that you have to earn and therefore push it away yeah very much so yeah what’s really the most important thing in your life my kids my family the people I love yeah how well do they see you actually pretty well sometimes nice yeah and the feeling that you have right now in your system when you think of your family and being seen by them see what it’s like to feel that same way about money I love that look on your face you’re like what the yeah H what a teacher money has been I mean there’s no way money could have taught you so much if it wasn’t seeing you on some level or reacting to some truth in you I see that there it is thank you thank