Summary
In this coaching session from a live Q&A, Joe works with a tennis coach who believes he can’t feel his body. The man reports feeling “nothing” when asked to tune into bodily sensations—everything seems to come from a “heady space.”
Joe guides him through a simple progression: feel your vocal cords vibrating as you hum, then feel a spot without touch, then notice your right pinky. The client realizes he can feel his body—he just wasn’t directing attention to it. When asked to feel his belly button area, his face shifts, suggesting he may be repressing emotions rather than lacking sensation.
The breakthrough comes through a tennis analogy: the client already knows how to be in his body during flow states on the court. Joe reframes the task as simply “playing tennis in life”—bringing that same embodied awareness into conversation and daily living. When the client speaks from his body rather than his head, the shift is visible on camera.
Key Concepts
Key Quotes
“If you’re attending to it, isn’t that feeling your right pinky? Like, what am I missing?”
“If you can play tennis you definitely can feel your body or you wouldn’t be able to play tennis.”
“I want the next words to come from your body, as if your mouth is the racket.”
“Don’t guess, just do it. If you feel you do it, go do it.”
“It’s that easy. It’s just—you’re playing tennis in life.”
Transcript
when you talk you go into your head to talk I want the next words to come from your body that’s a very tough one I’d like it’s it’s hard to know the difference between the two sometimes I feel like I’m talking like let’s say from my gut or my intuition but uh it like the lines are not binary where it’s like he or it’s like it could be either or I don’t know yeah fantastic and you just did [Laughter] it in this coaching session which happened during one of our live q&as I work with somebody who thinks they can’t feel their feelings and then they discover this unrelated skill is the key to finding flow in their emotional life it’s a great session in the fact that once again it shows what we think is impossible is actually possible feeling uh well struggling with feeling any emotion but getting in touch with my body everything seemed to be kind of from a heady space and I feel nothing like when you talk about feel this emotion three inches below your belly getting touch the bottoms of your feet nothing it’s yeah I struggle to get in touch with the emotional side in connection with my body so uh how do I better better do that how do you know you’re not connected lack of feeling how do you know you’re not feeling something no sensation I don’t know but that’s what it that’s what I’m assuming okay so so you’re talking to me and your vocal cords are making sound so those are vibrating can you feel them as you’re talking like just say random to me uh hi Joe how are you how’s it going I’m doing well can you feel barely not really barely gotcha and then do me a favor just hum how far down do you feel that keep huming like bottom of my Thro is okay yeah and how do you know you’re that vibration a little bit and if you feel that same place while you’re not talking how do you know you’re feeling that if I feel that same place when I’m not talking correct I don’t so go feel a place and then stop making it just don’t stop feeling that place kind of like a mental connection with that place a focus on that place yeah and there’s something there’s something responding to you right like you’re putting attention on it and somehow you know it’s on that for some reason it’s like there’s a two-way street and right now can you identify where your right pinky yeah so what makes it that you’re not feeling your right pinky right now no attention directed at my right pinky if you’re if you’re attending to it isn’t that feeling your right pinky like what’s what am I missing yeah that if I try to say if I’m focusing on feeling my right pinky I’ll feel my right pinky yeah so if you focus on feeling your belly button what just happened there your face went I I have no idea to be like so is it that you’re not feeling it or is that you are trying to repress an emotion that comes up when you feel it very possibly yeah so just put your it’s hard to discern the two you tell me right so if you if you feel the belly button again okay you like put your finger right in it then you know exactly where it’s at okay yeah so are you feeling your now sure yeah it’s definitely more if I put my finger on it right right yeah you can take your finger out and just keep on feeling that area you can even feel like a couple inches below or behind that’s all we’re talking about that’s it so just notice something if you put your attention there in in your belly and just keep it there for a minute what’s moving what like you’re not going to be able I don’t need an answer but just notice any kind of sensation that’s moving there’s any kind of sensation that’s like hard there’s colors if there’s do you do you do art are do are you an artist or a musician or something computer programmer quite the opposite a tennis coach a tennis coach that’s perfect so when you played tennis do you remember like when you first played tennis your ability to understand tennis changed dramatically Ally compared to where you play tennis now like your where your body position is and like and you notice that when you’re in your head your tennis game goes to and if you’re like just in your body your tennis game is much better yeah generally it’s like kind of like what you talk about being in flow is when you’re at the peak of your performance yeah that’s right so this is the same thing that’s going on in the body like if you can play tennis you definitely can feel your body or you wouldn’t be able to play tennis yeah the difference is like that state that you get into when you’re in flow like you’re a you’re like you’re in your body right in that state so just do that but just be doing it while we’re sitting here not playing tennis yeah that’s it that’s all it’s simple okay except for you’re bringing that same intelligence not into a sport but into life so so check it out cool cool you got it I see it so now I this is GNA be really weird but you when you talk you go into your head to talk I want the next words to come from your body as if your your mouth is the racket you just put your attention into the say again that’s a very tough one i’ from my gut or my intuition but I don’t know where it could be he could be it could be natural like it’s sometimes like you know very uh like the lines are not binary where it’s like hey or it’s like it could be either or I don’t know or or blend I don’t know yeah yeah yeah fantastic and you just did it okay all right you were you were talking you were talking and it was like and then all of a sudden you’re like like it was just you were in that flow state in your talk you can go back and look at the video and you’ll see what I’m what I mean in it okay that that put you like a little bit more in your head so what if if you back into the body like you’re playing tennis I just question it like I just question it a lot if it’s like if it’s authentic or if I’m like trying to speak from my head like it just seems very very hard to know the difference or like I don’t know I struggle with that a little bit feels like yeah and what happens when you’re playing tennis and you question it am I doing more more often more more often than not it gets worse you need to kind of not be thinking about a lot otherwise it’s very fast game so yeah you cannot be thinking about too many things it has to be and how do you do that how do you do that so your head you start questioning you’re playing tennis and you start questioning what do you do I for me specifically I’ll take like deep breaths try and refocus meaning just like take a deep breath gather and then just make sure I’m picking up my intensity but I’m my mental side is like I’m dropping but I’ll try and pick up my energy just like pick up like my focus on like the ball pick up my focus like kind of in my body just make sure I’m like kind of like I don’t know align like hunting like I’m just ready to react and go kind of thing you’re doing it again great yeah it’s that easy it’s just you’re playing tennis in life I can do that I guess if you had somebody say to you when you’re you’re teaching them coach you teach tennis is that right part of it is you teach yeah and they and they were like oh yeah I could do that I guess what would you say to them great great well at the iig guess part like they said I could do it great yeah and what would you say to the iig guess part don’t guess just do it if you feel you do it go do it that’s it like you can’t guess okay all right it’s literally just like okay play tennis in life all right that sounds fun to me yeah pleasure thank you