Summary
A caller shares that they just quit their job without a plan — both excited and terrified. Their deepest fear is that when they eventually look for work again, they’ll revert to overworking, lose boundaries, and burn out again. They worry they won’t find or create meaningful, aligned work.
Joe points out the irony: the caller just took a massive self-care action by quitting, yet immediately worries they won’t take care of themselves in the future. He compares it to hitting a perfect golf swing and then fearing you’ll never do it again. The caller feels the absurdity land in their body. Joe then asks how much the pattern of worrying about the future is itself the thing that caused the overwork — and the caller has a powerful somatic breakthrough, describing everything falling off them and their body exploding with joy.
Key Concepts
- Worrying about the future is the pattern, not the solution
- Self-care actions are proof of self-care capacity
Key Quotes
“You basically are telling me I just quit a job without a plan because I wanted to take care of myself and I’m afraid that I’m not going to take care of myself in the future.”
“If you were playing golf and you hit a perfect swing and then you were like I’m scared I’ll never do that again…”
“This pattern of worrying about what you’re going to do in the future — how much of that pattern is the thing that made you overwork? A thousand percent.”
Transcript
um yeah so I just did a big scary thing um about day I quit without a plan and I’m both excited and terrified but I think the thing that’s probably the scary thing on my mind is part of me is worri that whenever I decide to to look for another job in a new year um I’m G to go back to kind of the bad habits of overworking and not having good boundaries and I’m going to burn out again and the deeper fear is that I won’t be able to either find or create work that’s really meaningful or aligned with who I am and I’m just gonna get another job that’s probably the the biggest fear I have right now um so what’s the question I guess the question is how do I know um how do I pursue what’s the best path for me to pursue that to find that to find that out the find out what that that you might revert into meaningless work meaningless overworking yeah I guess how how do I how do I make sure I don’t do that okay awesome um how did you make sure you quit your job I don’t know if I you you basically are telling me I just quit a job without a plan because I wanted to take care of myself and I’m afraid that I’m not going to take care of myself in the future like you just did something to take care of yourself and then the first reaction is I’m scared I won’t do this again in the future what what how did that happen I think it’s because I I got to this point because I didn’t take vacation and I’m afraid I won’t I’ll do it again yeah that I’m I’m what I’m asking is how is it that when you take one action to take care of yourself that doesn’t show any kind of proof or give you any kind of Solace that you’ll do that again it’s an interesting thing right like if if you were playing golf and you like hit a perfect swing and then you were like I’m scared I’ll never do that again like yeah I feel that I feel that in my body now when you just said it yeah ah ah now I just feel a little bit silly yeah I guess in a way it doesn’t I guess you know I don’t the part of me that thinks it doesn’t just it’s got a lot smaller now is that I feel like you know on one spread that if you who you are is what you do and how often you do something is kind of like a a measure of H like how much of that person you are and because I’ve only done it once and it took four years that it’s still not who I am in a way that’s that’s lovely I love that great so how well you’re also calling you’re also on this call talking to me that’s another self-care there’s two H now I’m just feeling really silly embarrassed this this pattern of worrying about your what you’re going to do in the future how like how much of that pattern is the thing that made you overwork a th% oh that just hit like a t Bri oh my God I just felt like everything that was like on me just like splatted out wow oh my God my my body because is just like exploding with joy and just ready I can’t contain like part of me I’m like happy and part of me like wants to cry a little bit at the same time please do just feel just feel your body let your body remember this moment yeah oh my gosh wow I just feel really silly now thank you you’re so welcome