When Joe observes a dysfunctional team, he watches for which emotions are being avoided and which are being embraced. The strategies people use to avoid or embrace emotions reveal the root cause of dysfunction. A dysfunctional meeting will be “dripping with emotion” that is unowned — and somewhere in that suppressed emotion are all the ingredients needed to bring the team into functionality.
The concrete example: a leader who yells at their team is typically suppressing fear, hurt, and aloneness. They’re afraid of stagnation that will hurt the company. The suppression of those emotions produces frustration, and the anger drives some movement — a surrogate for the best kind of movement, but at least it’s movement.
The more functional version: “I have very little confidence that we’re going to succeed, and that scares me. I don’t see movement happening. I don’t want to be the only person driving this team — that disempowers you.” Same underlying emotion, but owned and spoken rather than suppressed and acted out.
“Somewhere in that suppressed emotion is the entire — all the ingredients to bring the team into functionality.”
Related Concepts
- CEO emotional avoidance blocks team truth
- Keeping it together blocks team trust
- Emotional avoidance creates blind spots
- Work patterns mirror relationship patterns